"The Storms of Our Life Prove the Strength of Our Anchor"

Many people say everything happens for a reason, and while I would not neccesarily say there is a "reason" this trial has happened to me, there have certainly been many blessings. For example, personal relationships for both myself and Matt have been strengthened through all of this. I know I have had a chance to get back in contact with many people I may have not talked to in years, as well as meeting many wonderful new people along the way. Beyond this, however, what sticks out to me the most is all of the acts of kindness you all have bestowed upon us along the way. Be it a card in the mail to say you are thinking of us, an unexpected, but very welcome donation, help with fundraisers, support through fundraisers, support to our families, or even just a phone call to say hi and that you are keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.. each time it blows me away, and truly warms my heart. Which brings me to my next point. I apologize in advance to those of you that have facebook and have already seen this post, however, I didn't feel right not sharing it with the people that do not have facebook. This week, I returned home to find an absolutely wonderful surprise! I came home one evening to find a package on my porch from Jill Croker (friend who is nothing short of amazing)... I opened it up to find a bracelet that I had found one day while purusing the internet, and hadn't really mentioned it to anyone. But a group of my friends from highschool; Christa Buck, Megan Buehler, Brittany Roof, Cyndi Burkett, Jill Croker and Katie Burkhouse, had all chipped together and sent this to me. I won't lie, it definitely brought tears to my eyes! Don't get me wrong, I have always known we had a special group of friends, since highschool. Granted we have always had our ups and downs, but our class has had an ability to really stand behind and support each other in times of need, and that is exactly what this amazing group of ladies did. Thank you all for putting so much thought into this gift for me. Now everyday when I am wearing it, each time I look down I get a reminder that I am not alone in this fight, I am loved, supported and thought of often by all of you, which continues to give me the strength and courage I need for this. (Just as a side note..Jill had mentioned this bracelet could "tide me over" until I get my tattoo...I had to quickly correct her, this bracelet is a whole lot less painful, and doesn't involve all the needles a tattoo does..the tattoo can wait. I have had my fill of needles for now!) Check out the picture of the bracelet below..it's so unique! I believe they are still on etsy if anybody is interested in one. :)

 So tomorrow is treatment #9! YAY! ....3 more. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am for this countdown. If all goes as planned, we should be done with treatment #12 on January 28th. So far, everything is going as well as can be expected..although the hair is still thinning quite a bit :-/ ...Ugh. Call me vain, but it is certainly not an easy thing for a girl to take. However, if that is the worse that I get in getting rid of this nasty stuff, I'll suck it up and take it. If you all could, please keep us in prayer tomorrow, and the rest of the week. Lately, it has seemed to be a trend that Matt and I end up in the ER over the weekend. We have had two scares lately, but thanks to the power of prayer, both times it has turned out to be nothing, and we have been able to come home the same night without being admitted. (Always a plus!) BUT, I am sure there has to be better things to do on the weekend than hang out at the ER, so if you could say a prayer that we don't end up there again, we would greatly appreciate it. :) Another big thing coming up is meeting with the genetics counselor in January. Yikes. I'm really not sure how I feel about that yet, but I figure the positive is that at least after that we will have a much better idea with what we are exactly dealing with, and in turn be able to develop an even better plan of prevention for the years to follow. Also, we have a fundraiser in the works that I believe is going to take place on March 31st. It is a raffle fundraiser, with some pretty awesome prizes! I am hoping to get a post on here soon explaining it more in detail. If you would like to know anything more about it, please feel free to ask me, my brother Jamie, or my dad.

So Christmas...snuck up pretty quick, right? Or was that just me? haha. We did manage to get a tree up in the house though! This is the first year Matt and I will be spending a Christmas together, so it is pretty exciting! We are leaving this week to make our cross country trek (or so I like to call it. haha.) We are going to spend a few days in PA, a few days in Indiana, then make our trek back to Annapolis just in time to do treatment #10 on New Years Eve. I am always like a little kid on Christmas, but even more so this year! We both can't wait to see all of our families and spend some long overdue time catching up with everyone. :) Do any of you have any exciting plans for Christmas? Maybe we will get the chance to see some of you!


Before starting this post, I was mainly going to update you all on the bracelet, the progress of where we are at in journey, and wish you all happy holidays. However, given the recent events happening in our country, I have a heavy heart tonight and I need to address that as well. The recent shooting in Connecticut breaks my heart. All opinions of anti guns/gun control/2nd Ammendment aside, we as a society have to acknowledge what a terribly said situation we are in. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that it is now acceptable in the minds of some to take aggression out on the youngest, most innocent of victims. I can not even begin to fathom what the families of these victims are going through right now, and my heart continues to break for them and the road they must travel, especially during this time of the year. It was after all this that I realized how much my "strength statement" applies to them as well. How true is it that the storms of their lives will truly prove the strength of their anchor. There are no answers, no words of comfort that can be offered to soothe the hurt for them at this time, but we can all continue to keep them in prayer, that God will show them the strength of their anchor  comfort them in the way that only he can, and see them through this cruel storm.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday..Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! God bless you all..

Weekend Visit and lots of other pics

Hello Hello! I'm sorry I've been slacking lately- haven't had much news to update with lately. (I'll take that though- it's definitely better than updating with bad news!) Last weekend, I had my first outing with friends! :) My roommates from college, Katie and Jen, made the trip down to visit us. It couldn't have been timed better because I was really having a hard time with the whole situation  (all those FUN side effects were taking a toll..hair thinning more, fatigue, etc. yay) , and getting out of the house to get my mind off it all was just what I needed. Thanks ladies! We went to Baltimore for the day, and I finally made it to the Inner Harbor. If you are ever in the area, you have to check it out! After having an amazing dinner and some kick-ass cheesecake, they called it a night. We had a great time, and I'm hoping it's not too long before we can do it again. *I think even Matt enjoyed it, either that or he just liked having me out of his hair for a day. lol* I'm posting some pics for y'all to enjoy too.

Other than that there's not a whole lot happening this way. Matt started back to work this week, and all seems to be going well there. We both survived the week, and I survived just fine being home by myself all week. haha. Treatment #7 is creeping up and will be here on Monday, then after that we will busy getting ready for Thanksgiving.. Anybody have any exciting plans for the holiday?

Almost forgot! Recently a few people have asked for me to post our updated address on the blog. We are currently at
686 Genessee Street
Annapolis, MD 21401

Hope all is well with everyone! Please keep the prayers and good thoughts coming.

Lots of love..

Nice day at Sandy Point State Park

He's going to kill me for posting this one- but I think it looks like one of those Sasquatch commercials..lol makes me giggle.

Random Rambling

So this week's post is going to be exactly what the title claims. A bunch of random rambling. All the updates I have for this week are so all over the place, that random was the best title for them. :) Haha. Matt and I survived our trip to PA, and managed to make it back JUST in time for Sandy to hit! Luckily, we were very fortunate that the storm itself didn't do much damage, just a bit of water in our basement. Considering how bad other people were hit by this storm, I'd say it's safe to say we were blessed! However, I was scheduled to have my 6th treatment on Monday, but due to the extreme weather conditions, it was rescheduled to tomorrow. Initially, I was a bit bummed about missing a treatment again, but I quickly realized it was just an additional week for my body to get stronger, and even more time for me to feel "normal" for a bit longer. (it's hard to explain how amazing it is to feel "normal" and feel much more like your old self during all this mess.) So off to Baltimore we go again bright and early tomorrow.

I'm not sure how many of you caught that tomorrow is my 6th treatment...I have 12 treatments total. That's right- tomorrow is 50% done with this stuff- Half way through!! You better bet I will be playing some Living on a Prayer on the way to and from the hospital. haha

On a side note, I gave acupuncture a try for the first time Friday. One of my doctors had recommended it as a way to treat the neuropathy I have been experiencing (and possibly prevent further damage), as well as tackling any fertility issues I may encounter from this, and the most exciting part- if chemopause occurs, it may be able to reverse it! (I know everyone isn't quite as versed in all these wonderful terms associated with the "C", so the quick explanation is chemopause is an early onset of menopause that can occur as a result of my treatments..hotflashes at 26? fantastic.) So needless to say, I was curious as I want to look into every possible way I have to treat and defeat this stuff. I have to be honest, the needles seriously do not hurt! I am a HUGE baby about needles (I still have to look away when they draw my blood), and it didn't bother me a bit. Of course everyone that has experienced acupuncture told me going into it that they don't hurt, but I figured that was the usual BS everyone gives you when you are going to do something. Low and behold, they were right! Honestly it was pretty relaxing, once you get past the needle part, 30 minutes in a calm room, where you have nothing to think about but laying there and relaxing. I'd think all of us could use that, even if the needles weren't involved. lol I'm pretty hopeful about it all, although I am a pretty firm believer in the power of the mind and thinking, and I think what you "believe" will work holds a lot of weight. I will keep you all updated on it as my treatments progress.

All of the Elk County crew will appreciate this next part... Team Meghan made it all the way to the Turkey Trot! Brandy was sporting her Team Meghan shirt, along with some other awesome apparel I might add..lol, and was nice enough to allow me to post her pic on here. Plus she said she had counted 5 other Team Meghan shirts there today. Can I just tell you all again how much I love you all for this support? It's amazing to see that it keeps coming with no end.

That being said, I think the second order of t-shirts has been picked up and I believe they are in the process of delivering them to you all now. If you haven't received your t-shirt, I ask that you please be patient. My brother and sister-in-law, as well as my dad and Jenna have put a huge deal of time and effort into this, and there's quite a bit of leg work that goes into sorting all the shirts and getting them delivered to the right people- but they are on it! Thanks again to everyone who orchestrated this, and thanks to all of you for purchasing and supporting us!

I think that's all going on around these parts right now, hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and have a great week. Oh- and if you happen to be blasting some Bon Jovi tomorrow, I won't be offended. :) Feel free to celebrate with me!

Home sweet home :)

My apologies for not updating this in so long! However, as usual, things have been nothing short of crazy lately.  Let's see how I do catching this all up in a somewhat short nutshell. haha. Matt made it to Alaska, finally cleared out up there, and has made his way back home to Annapolis. Which means that starting next week he will officially begin work at Fort Meade (and I will be at home by myself all day...what to do..lol) Luckily for him, timing worked out that he was able to see a lot of his buddies return home from their deployment in Afgahnistan while he was up in Alaska. This was quite the blessing, not only to give him a break to re-charge, but it was also important to him to be able to see all of his guys home safely. Thank you again to Deidra and Burley for taking care of him for a few weeks. :)

While he was gone, of course I had to find something to do to entertain myself.  Fortunately for me, I was lucky enough to have lots of family come visit. Mom spent two weeks at our house helping me clean, organize, and decorate for Fall. Our house actually looks like our "home" now, more than just a house we are in. It's funny how something so simple can be such a huge comfort. As if that was not enough fun; dad, Nancy, Luke and one of his friends made the trip down for the weekend and we took a short jaunt over to the Eastern Shore, made it downtown for a great seafood dinner, and even saw some of the awesome boats downtown during The Boat Show.

Now with all of that good news- there has to be a few set backs I suppose. Mom had initially came to MD so she could take me to my treatment on Monday while Matt was gone. Well we woke up bright and early Monday and went to Baltimore, but apparently life had different plans for me that day. Unfortunately my blood work came back that day showing my levels were too low to receive treatment, I would have to take some medicine for a week and come back again and try the following Monday. As if that wasn't bad enough, the low levels also earned me a first class ticket for giving myself a shot every Thursday after I had treatments. Yuck! I've said it a million times, and probably a million more, I hate shots and anything to do with them.

 So that day I was pretty bummed out. (I know, you would think not having to get nasty medicine pumped into ya for a week would be a good thing- but I'm an odd duck and being pushed back a week on my overall goal was hard to handle). However, after a bit of moping and complaining to anyone and everyone around (hah) I sucked it up, and low and behold it turned out to be a good thing. It's kind of funny how sometimes our body knows what we need a bit more than we do! The week off was great! I finally felt "normal" again, no fatigue, no headaches, I was able to galivant all around Annapolis with mom for a few days and welcome my husband back home, feeling good. It's the small things these days that count. :) So Matt and I went back to Baltimore Monday for treatment #5, and it all went well. Bloodwork looked great again, the infusion at the hospital went well, and my nurse even showed up on time at the hospital, AND at home to take me off of my pump! (For those of you that hear me vent on a regular basis, you know this is an accomplishment! hahah) Even more good news, our insurance company cooperated with providing us the shot that I need to take the day following treatment, so we were able to bring it home with us and administer it at home, rather than driving back to Baltimore Thursday morning just for a quick shot. Huge relief! However, that was about all that the shot was good for. lol. It was NO fun giving the shot Thursday- and believe it or not, I didn't get a pretty colored bandaid OR a lollipop for being good during it. I think I need to discuss this with my nurse. lol. Luckily, there were no side effects from the shot so far though- great news!

Since I was feeling well- Matt and I decided to pack up and head to PA for the weekend. We have a meeting with Dr. McLaughlin in Pittsburgh Monday afternoon, (he is an awesome guy- if anybody ever needs to see an oncologist, I highly recommend him!) so we decided to make a long weekend trip out of it and see some family and friends while we are home.  So far it has been a wonderful trip- perfect timing to be back in PA, it has been absolutely breathtaking seeing all of the leaves changing colors. We have also had a chance to see most of the family so far, Matt has been terrorized by our 3 nieces for an entire night, and we even took a trip to Benezette today so I could show Matt the famous Elk herd our area is famous for.  There were so many elk out today, and even more people! We tried our best to snap a few pictures for you all to see.

I hope you all are getting to enjoy the beautiful fall weather just as much as we are. Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes- please know that they are certainly working, we see that each and everyday through different blessings. Please keep them coming! The love and support from all of you is exactly what we need to keep fighting the fight. God Bless! :)

Meghan and Matt

T-Shirts... continued

Wow! I'm pretty speechless after looking at all these again. It's nothing short of amazing to see all of the support from you all pouring in! I swear I am like a little kid on Christmas each time I get on Facebook and see a new picture. (Just ask Matt or my mom..lol). It's hard to explain just how much this means, and how much it helps me want to fight this nasty thing even more. I know Kalen had mentioned in his previous post that they are all on Facebook, but I figured I would put all of the ones that I have to date for you all to see as well. :) And the even better part? There is still more support coming! Some of out friends from Alaska are getting in on this next order (can't wait to see those pics!), friends from NC and SC, and even friends that I ,unfortunately, haven't talked to in years are joining in to support- Ania Terry you made my day the other day by ordering one!

I think that is an awesome idea that Team Bullers has to have a Team Meghan profile pic day if y'all are up for it, and having it as a celebration day once this chemo is over sounds fantastic! (Just a side note, I am 33.3% done with this nasty stuff... for those of you that know me, I'm terrible at math, I didn't do that calculation on my own, a fellow colon cancer fighter figured it out for me. haha) But none the less, 4 down, 8 more to go, and then I would love to see your profile pics supporting Team Meghan.

I also would like to thank all the faculty and staff at Francis S. Grandinetti Elementary School. Yesterday Matt and I received a heartwarming note with a very generous donation from their CARE days at the school. Thank you all so much for your help!

Now for a quick update- We are rounding the bend leading in to treatment #5 on Monday. I am hoping it will go as well as #1,#2, and #4....#3 was a little bit hairy and a pain in the ass. But I am going in positive! Side effects haven't been too bad this time, thank God, and I have been able to maintain my weight so far. Matt is in Alaska for a few weeks, which is somewhat of a double edged sword. It's great that we finally know he will be here with me in Annapolis for the next year, however, it is a real bummer that he is stuck up in Alaska for so long and will be missing the next treatment. I'll be missing him for sure, as this will be the first treatment without him. I don't think the nurses will know what to do without him sprawled out in the bed sleeping next to me. lol Luckily, Jim (my step dad) has been flexible enough that he is okay with me stealing mom for a few extra days, and she will take me to treatment and hang out for a few days after until Matt gets home. I will be wearing my Team Meghan T-shirt to this treatment to get some autographs from my nurse Joanne and my doctors.

On a note aside from all the medical bs- mom has been here "visiting" since Monday. I say it like that, because my mom doesn't really know how to visit or vacation...haha She has been working since she got here, which is a complete godsend for me! We now are no longer living out of totes and boxes, our house actually looks lived in, and we have a freezer stocked full of food for treatment days where we don't feel like cooking. Tomorrow, I am giving her the day off and we are getting out to at least do some "window-shopping". Also, Dad, Nancy, Jenna, and Luke are coming down Saturday morning. It will be great to see them again finally, and to show them around Annapolis! :)  I am one lucky girl to have such great family and friends willing to come visit and put up with me so I am not too lonely while the hubbs is away.

Please do take a minute to send some good thoughts and lots and lots of prayers Gary Gerber's way. This whole situation is such a nasty one to deal with, that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, and my case was even fairly straight forward. Some of the bumps and hurdles that I have heard he has had to overcome, he certainly deserves some love and support! Great news that he is home though, speaking from experience, hospitals are no place to recover, and there is nothing quite like the comfort of your own home when you're feeling down. Keep your chin up Coach, keep fightin' and it'll get better! Also, I know I mentioned this on Facebook and Kalen did as well, but if you can, please stop by Bill Mitchell's fundraiser on October 14th. He and his wife could really use your support, plus it is spaghetti- who doesn't like spaghetti!? Bill and Lara, you have all the support in the world coming from Matt and I, and we are keeping you in our prayers daily. Stay strong, and defy the verdict!

Thanks again for all of the love, support and prayers- can never have too much of that! Maybe someday, as the article from MD Anderson put it, dying from cancer will be as common as dying from pneumonia. We just have to keep searching.  Hope all is well with everyone and you all get to enjoy a wonderful weekend!

Tshirts and stuff

Most of the shirts from the first order have been handed out, just a handful left. The second order looks to be over 100, so that would be well over 400 shirts total. Crazy to think about the amount of support Meg has! There are some real cool photos on Facebook if you have access.

Matt is in Alaska, so my mom is down in Annapolis with Meg. My stepdad Jim has lost over 20 lbs with my mom being gone so much, so we had him down for dinner last night so Trish could fatten him up. I also stole a couple hours of drywall help.

Team Bullers ( Autumn and Paul) are pushing for a Facebook profile pic day of folks in Team Meghan tshirts. If things work out, we may try to coordinate that with a chemo anniversary for a little extra good vibes for Meg.

Meg seems to be doing well. Sometimes we have to remind her this is hopefully just a temporary inconvenience.

I hear Coach Gerber just had surgery and after a couple bumps in the road is back home. Try to send some well wishes his way if you have the opportunity. Also, there is a fundraiser for Bill Mitchell in Ridgway on Oct 14 for those that can attend. This is a fight for everyone, so Meg encourages you all to support anyone that is fighting this nasty disease!

Peace and good vibes to all! Keep you prayers and notes of support coming.

Checking in..

Sorry I haven't updated lately- haven't had a whole lot going on. BUT I have came up with something for you all tonight! First- I have to take a minute to brag about my hubbs for a little bit. He has been working his butt off on projects around the house for me (who doesn't love a "honey-do list"?) and his latest project has involved sanding/restaining chairs so they all match our dining room. Now he has one completed (looks great!), one sanded and ready to be stained and just one more to go. He's been working away at those, even on the days where I am sitting on the couch watching recorded Ellen episodes. lol. However, more exciting news, we finally received the definite confirmation from the Army that Matt can be stationed here. He went before the board earlier this week and was told he is stationed here for a year, and it seems like it'll be something he'll really enjoy! :) No more worrying about them sending him back to Alaska- we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Speaking of people being wonderful, I received another amazing care package last night! Rebecca Wonderly-Pombosa sent me such a heartfelt package last night that I'll be honest it brought both tears, and a much needed smile to my face. There were many neat things in there- but two I have to suggest you check out if you have never seen them before are the clinging cross, and the book "50 Days of Hope". The book is awesome. Like I said, I just received it last night, and I'm already hooked. If you have cancer, or know anybody at all who has had cancer, it's a must. The author is a cancer survivor herself, she has went through cancer with several family members, and is now a cancer patient advocate. Without telling you ALL about it, I will tell you this much- she gives you just a quick blurb to remind you that cancer is only as big as you allow it to be. Cancer is not bigger than God, cancer is not bigger than your faith, cancer is not bigger than your hope, and cancer is not bigger than your joy. All things that are nice to be reminded of daily. Thanks again, Rebecca! You were always the most thoughtful person in highschool, but it's great to know I am still in your thoughts.

Other miscellaneous news- I finally went to get my haircut! I haven't had it touched since before the wedding, and it was beginning to look like a combination of a hot mess/rat's nest. So I had a good bit chopped off, the even better news, the chic cutting my hair said it is definitely not thinning yet!! YAY. :) I'm not sure if she knows what she's talking about or not, but right now I'll go with it. I'm attaching a picture so you all can give me some input. Other than that we are just hanging around the house this weekend, prepping for treatment on Monday. Another favor to ask, could you all keep me in your thoughts Monday? The last treatment was a little more uncomfortable than the first two, and I am really hoping it's not a trend. Thank-you!

Oh yeah, T-Shirts are in!! :) I can't wait to see all the pictures of everyone. Once again, thank you to everyone for your support through those, and a huge thank you to Kalen, Trisha, Dad, Jenna, Mom, Brandy and everybody else who has coordinated this whole deal. We love you!  Anyway- hope all is well and you are enjoying the weekend. We had 88 degree weather on our first day of Fall. I suppose there are some perks to living in MD.

:)

T-shirts are in!!

The T-shirts are in and they look great! Thanks so much to Kalen  for getting the idea going, Trisha for all her time coordinating everything, also to Jenna, T.O. and Brandy at South St for pitching in to get the word out about the shirts so that even more people will be a part of  Team Meghan. The response has been so wonderful and amazing!! A really big Thank -you is owed to everyone who has helped to make this endeavor possible for Meg.
As I tried to get across earlier this wasn't exactly my original idea but it has really seemed to have taken on a life of it's own and I can see many blessings to come from it that I hadn't thought about. The first one will be  that it is going to give Meg something to do when she is too tired to do housework but still wants to feel productive....She can figure out a way to collect everyone's photo in their shirt and get them to me so that I can get that letter off to Ellen and Oprah!! 
I will hopefully be taking Meg's and Matt's down soon so that they can start to wear them and get them signed as they go to all those wonderful appointments! They may have to backtrack a little though to get the signatures from the start. But hey..what else do they have to do right now??? LOL (that comment is just for you Meg..are you giving me that look yet?)
Once again Thank-you to everyone so much and as soon as you can get a picture in your shirt, either as an individual or as a group photo with some of the other "team members" send it to Meg so that we can start to compile them all in some type of format. I know that as we do that, it will bring smiles to both of them and also create a good memory to hang onto as she goes through this and when she is done on the other side of this "bump" in her life.

Happy No-Chemo Monday! Yay! :)

So I am stealing this title from my brother. Thank God I was blessed with three amazing brothers. I always thought I wanted a sister (in fact if you ask any of my family members, they'll confirm I whined about it for many years). However, the older I get, the more and more I realize how fortunate I am to have the brothers I do.

This weekend was one of "those" weekends. I'll be completely honest, it was all just a bit too much this weekend, everything seemed too overwhelming and too much to handle, and was just one of those weekends that finding the "ups" and "positives" in this battle were challenging to say the least. As Kalen mentioned in his previous post, my third chemo treatment is here and gone, with unfortuntately a bit more side effects this time around, but we are still trucking along. But after struggling over the weekend, my support system came to my aid again and I woke up to an e-mail from my brother simply titled "Happy No-Chemo Monday" and it made me realize, you know what, he's right. If for nothing else, I need to be happy that today is a No-Chemo Monday! Today instead of sitting in the infusion center, Matt and I get to spend the day getting a little bit more settled into our house and our lives here. If nothing else, I need to count my blessings that I am here on this No-Chemo Monday, and I have to suck it up, "catch the ball life is throwing" and keep going. (Although I have to add, the ridiculously cute pictures of my nephew, Captain Chaos, that accompanied the e-mail also helped to boost this attitude..haha) So here is hoping that the rest of the side effects from treatment wear off quickly so I can get out and about some more because the weather is absolutely gorgeous right now here in Annapolis!

On a very positive note, Matt and I had another house guest this weekend! :)  His step-mom Ann made the trip out to visit us, and it was awesome, and long overdue to say the least. We did manage to show her around Annapolis a bit, although I think she enjoyed being away from "work" and "mom-role" more than anything. We did our best not to make her work TOO much- so hopefully she will be coming back soon. Thanks to my very patient husband and mother-in-law, we had a fun, relaxing weekend. Matt was even in a good mood because he had a chance to see Notre Dame AND the Red's win!!

At the polite "nudging" from the previous blog entry, I am posting an updated pic of Matt and I. Now, keep in mind we were at the airport awaiting our guest, so it's not our best of pictures, but you can at least see that we are doing well, and not driving each other completely insane, yet. lol.

Finally, I think I heard through the grapevine that the Team Meghan T-shirt order was submitted last week. I have to say again how blown away I am by the response you all put into this. I know I have said many times how much of a difference just getting cards, notes, emails, etc. help me get through day to day; seeing you all supporting me by wearing these t-shirts will be a whole different ball game! Thank you. Hopefully once everybody gets there shirts, we can get some pics snapped and posted to FB so we can see everyone sporting their shirts!

 I know a few people have asked about being able to make donations vs. buying a T-shirt; from what I have heard there will be a donation can set up at South Street Botanicals, as well as up at the Summit. I will be sure to update you all if I hear anything else on that front.  Keep the prayers, thoughts, good vibes, jokes, etc. coming. It means the world to us!

Hope you all are having a wonderful day..  Remember, we never know what tomorrow brings, so catch whatever ball it is that life throws to you today and run with it.

How is Meghan doing?

My apologies for errors, this is coming from my phone as Trish and Jenna are finishing up the first shirt order on the laptop.

Lots of people asking how Meg is doing and we have been so busy with shirts we haven't updated. It Is hard to keep tabs on her, since she is so far away.

She is in the middle of her third treatment as I type this. Long day at Hopkins, but all has been good thus far. A little more cold sensitivity this time around, but I imagine having the pump for two days is a bigger inconvenience. Bloodwork has been good so far and fevers kept at bay so no delays so keep the prayers coming.

Matt has been doing interviews getting himself squared away with the Army. That will be good for both of their stability and I am sure he is getting a little stir crazy. We are happy he is home.

Next 5 months or so should be a lot of the same. Meg has been in contact with UPMC docs in addition to the Hopkins folks. Both groups have been great. Hopefully Meg shares a picture soon! *hint hint*

Ok, thumb cramps. I feel like a teenager.

Sooooooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyy

Ok I am so sorry I haven't ordered my T-shirt yet!!  I believe it originally was my idea and was what I had requested to be my birthday present from my other children so this will probably be considered a major oversight by all of them. So as soon as I can, I will go to Trisha's email and order them for Jim and I.
I was glad to see that Kalen had included some of how the idea got started with me when he posted about the T-shirts, but there is a bit more to the idea than just that.
Early in the beginning of this situation, I realized how much it was a team effort to get to where we are now (and right now it seems to be going better than expected) but because I attempt to make lemonade out of life's lessons (just ask meg) and I am always expecting my children to see the silver lining in things, I was looking for a way to bring some good out of a bad thing. So I thought that getting T-shirts for Meg and Matt to wear for their appts and also to keep a sharpie handy to get" autographs" from all the great doctors and other staff we have met and I am sure they will still continue to meet along the way. That way at least someday when Meg looks back on this period of her life she will also have some good thoughts to temper the bad and her heart will be warmed by the thoughts of how much moral support, prayers, assistance etc she has been blessed to receive.
Plus early in this situation one day Meg and I needed something to laugh about instead of cry we took time to watch the "Ellen" show and we said we were going to schedule everything from then on either before or after her show and the doctors and other nasty stuff like picc lines, nurses visits etc would just have to wait and understand!(I am ashamed to  admit we have done very poorly with that goal though!!) As I watched "Ellen's" show I began to wish I could somehow tell about Meg and Matt and the  story so that others could see as bad as life can be sometimes ....it makes such a difference when you are lucky enough to have the amount of support through family and friends that Meghan and Matt have had.
I do still hope to someday write in to "Ellen" and "Oprah" but I want to be able to "show" and not just "tell" the story so hence the T-shirt idea, I hope to get as many as I can together to do a "photo op" with Meg and Matt and everyone else in their shirts.
Then the idea grew to also include the possibility of using them for fundraising if the need should arise to help Meg out in that way.
So to make this long story even longerrrrrrrrrrrrrr..I will be ordering my own shirt asap and then down the road, call on everyone to don their shirts for a pic.If I can't get everyone together at one time, I may just do a college of  some type with a bunch of pictures.
Oh and by the way you 2 boys are way too old to be keeping score on who the nicest and most thoughtful one is...I think I have you both beat with road trips this year! 
 

Paying for the T-shirts

Alright, we decided Paypal was going to be easiest and cheapest method for paying for the shirts if you can't send a check.  We tested it out the other day and everything worked pretty seamlessly.

One thing we'll want to do is combine shipping if at all possible.  The less we pay in shipping, the more money that is made for Meghan and Matt.

We took down the Paypal link on 10/1/12 because we are submitting our last "online" order.  We are working out options for other ways to get a t-shirt if you still want one.  Email Kalen at kalen.fitch@gmail.com.  Thanks!

Oh no!  You don't have a Paypal account.  Worse!  You have never heard of Paypal.  Well no worries.  Just use the drop down to pick the number of shirts you are paying for and click the Buy Now button.  It will open a new page which has an option in the bottom right that says "Don't have a Paypal Account?".  It will then give you a form to fill in.

If this all seems a little too shady for you and you would rather just send a check, that is even better.  Get that puppy in the mail.  Here is our address:

Kalen Fitch
340 Metoxet St
Ridgway, PA 15853

Trish is going to send emails back to everyone that ordered a shirt via email.  If you don't get one back in the next couple days, that means she never got your email.  In there will be directions for payments, request for shipping addresses, confirmation of order, etc.  We are going to try to get the order in next Wednesday.  Our apologies for the folks who got their order in right away, some of our family members have been slow to respond.

Meg and Matt seem to be doing well.  Matt is doing some interviewing to figure out where exactly he is going to get placed (at least that is what I understand).  Meg has been keeping a dialogue going with the doctors as she gets little surprises and minor problems as she is on her off week.  As of now, no major complications, so let's hope that continues.

T-shirts and Stuff

Alright, I am looking for some feedback here, so don't be shy.

The deal with paying online for t-shirts is this:

1) We can just use Paypal.  It is simple and already set up.  The problem is, they will charge about a $1 per t-shirt to use their service.  That isn't too bad, but out of principle, I would rather find a better idea.  I would rather that $1 ends up in Meghan's coffers rather than Paypal's.  Regardless, it is a fallback plan.
2) We can set up a donation site, such as Chipin.com.  We could just have everyone donate $15 per t-shirt.  That seems too easy, and I know some of these sites charge up to 10% of the overall donation to use their site, so I am cautious.  Anyone ever use one of these types of sites for fundraising?  I think our options will be to use a newer site that may not be super easy to use, or an established site and pay too much money.  Obviously, anything over 6% and we would be better off just using Paypal.
3) We could go old school with sending checks and cash.  For you younger folks, cash is that green stuff that old people carry around.  I know, I haven't seen it myself since I was 12, but I have heard that in rural areas people still use it.  The reality there though is someone is chipping in $.50 for a stamp anyways.  I think that is what they are going for these days, but like the cash, I haven't used one in awhile.  Might as well use Paypal and save the hassle right?

I know lots of people read this blog.  Please give me your opinion on how you all want to handle this.  If you have a better idea, let us know.

On the subject of t-shirts, we have orders for about 20 as of right now.  Hardly any from family though.  I am not super surprised, because at least Meghan's side is notoriously scatter-brained.  As soon as we sort out this payment thing, we are going to set a date for closing of the order.  After that, none of you hammer heads better give me flack because you wanted a t-shirt and didn't get the order in. 

A couple of cool offers came in to help Meghan (and the hammer heads).  Xtreme is going to waive the setup costs for the first run of shirts.  That is awesome, because that will turn this into an actual mini-fundraiser.  Also, a local shop has offered to sell the t-shirts for Meg.  More details on that will be provided after we figure out how we are going to do it without anyone getting stuck with t-shirts.  If you are one of those folks who forgets to put your order in, and you are local, you will have the ability to buy shirts there.

Alright, I know some of you actually read the blog to see how Meg is doing.  Last I checked, she is relaxing in Annapolis and enjoying a quiet weekend.  No chemo next week and the side effects weren't bad last week.  Nothing major to report, which is always good news!

-Kalen

Let's get some shirts going!

Alright, thanks to the team at Xtreme Wear (http://www.xtremewear.com/), we have some rockin' cool shirts that we can order to help support Meghan.  The design is below and we are going to be getting the Sapphire version.  You want one? I'll get to the details on how to get them below.

First, let's talk about the origins of the design.

The colors for Colorectal Cancer are brown and blue.  What kind of twisted moron would pick brown?  For obvious reasons, we went with blue.

The front is a nod to the fact that Meghan had a small team of us attending all of her first appointments.  When I say team, I mean, "hey, can we get some extra chairs in this office so everyone can sit down?".  We joked that we should get shirts so they could keep track of us.  Also, I think anyone that has survived cancer would agree, it takes a team to manage everything.  Meg carries the heavy burden, but we do our best to keep her focused on getting and staying healthy.  Since Matt has been back, she hasn't been asking for much though, so either he is doing a hell of a job, or she is taking on some of the administrative tasks.  We are going to get Captain/Co-Captain printed on Meg and Matt's shirts, but the rest will just say Team Meghan.

The back is a design that Jill found for Meghan.  The purple in the anchor is just to keep it a little feminine for her.  It represents keeping Meghan grounded.  The white infinity represents forever being free and pure of Cancer.  That is what we are hoping for right?  The quote is something Meghan found that tied it together really well.  Rumors are that this symbol will find its way on Meghan's body in the form of a tattoo someday.

The actual shirt that I am suggesting is a 50/50 Poly/Cotton blend that should wear a little lighter and more comfy than a basic cotton t-shirt and doesn't add cost (http://www.companycasuals.com/xtremewear1/b.jsp?id=126941).  If there is some reason you would like something different such as material, sleeve length, kids, women's, etc. I imagine they can accommodate us, but the cost will change some.  It will be a little bit of a hassle to do that, so hopefully we don't get too many special requests.

So how do you get one?

Send an email to my wife, Trisha Fitch, at trishap@hotmail.com.  Do me a favor and put Team Meghan in the subject line.  That was we can set up a rule to direct all orders into a special folder in her Inbox.  Standard sizes are S-3XL (mens).  The cost will be $15, which will cover setup charge and shipping as well (we'll all share that cost to make it easier).  If there is a couple bucks left over after this is said and done, we'll give it to Meg and Matt for fundraising.

**UPDATE** We are also going to be able to kids' sizes.  I am contacting Xtreme to figure out what our options are.

Don't send money yet, but go ahead and send your name, size, and address (if we are going to have to ship them).  We are going to start setting up a spreadsheet and also maybe a Paypal account to help coordinate the payments as much as possible.  We'll collect before we actually order.  Since there is no money to be made here, just getting one shirt that isn't paid for will actually come out of Meghan's pockets (actually probably mine and Trish's, but it sounds a little worse if we say Meghan).  We'll try to be as efficient and quick as possible so folks don't have their money tied up (reason we don't want money yet).

We are thinking about buying the same (or similar and cheaper) shirts down the line as a fundraiser.  It is one of the least profitable methods of making money though, so that may not happen.

-Kalen

Checking in

In case some folks are wondering, Meg had good bloodwork Monday so she started her second dose of chemo.

Matt and Meg made it back to Ridgway last week because they had an appt in Pittsburgh. It was great to visit with both of them, and I think Meg got the help she was looking for from the doctor.

They are in their own in Annapolis. Married life is starting!

Bust Meg's chops in the comments for not keeping this updated!

-Kalen

Love from Fox Township and Bennets Valley :)

Just wanted to post this quick pic to show the awesome blanket the faculty from Fox Township and BV made for me. I'm not one to love posting pics of myself, but the kick ass blanket in this one warranted a pic that you all needed to see. Hope all is well with everyone!

A quote I saw the other day that's sticking with me lately
"The storms of our life, prove the strength of our anchor"

Isn't that the truth? Thank you all for being part of my anchor..

Going home..I think..

I think the time is here for me to go home and let Meg and Matt get on with the joys of married life finally. I can't wait to see how they get through the newlywed phase to really becoming a family of their own! fun fun as all old married people know. LOL! I do think they will be fine though. And yes I am slightly worried but that is what happens when your children start any new phase in their lives.
I am not as worried now as I was because Meg has finally connected up with 2 great people that have been through this situation and survived and are doing well. One is a girl that her Dad?brother? (not sure which) hooked her up with and the other is through an ostomy support group down here. Already they have answered quite a few questions and helped solve some problems that we were having. I hope down the road that we could be a good resource to someone who is just starting out.
As for Meg and Matt they are doing good and getting adjusted. Meg did fine with her 1st chemo treatment and is getting ready for the second one. I hope it goes as well. She is eating like a horse and is continuing to gain weight, staying hydrated and actually recuperating from all the major and minor procedures we have been through lately.
I am hoping as she developes her relationship with others that have/have had these situations she will learn more tips for enjoying life as she goes through it. Already she has learned that she can def. expand her diet (yah..she is so sick of trying to eat junk food to maintain weight) and that the amount of gatorade can be decerased quite a bit. That in itself will help with finances and variety in her liquids. Even found out she CAN have some coffee and a glass of wine/beer every so often. So on the issue of living and ENJOYING life things are looking better. I hope she will pass all new info she is learning on so that if any one out with an ileostomy can benefit.
Keep it in your prayers that things will continue to go well after I leave...I know there will be some bumps but I also know they have to fly with their own wings to find their own mountaintops.

Quick Update!

Hey hey.. I promise to keep this one shorter than my last post. In part to maintain the sanity of all the readers, and also because sooner or later this "fatigue" side effect is catching up with me. lol. I can't see any more fitting way to begin this entry other than to say thank you. The prayers, thoughts, and acts of kindness have been tremendous. I have already told so many people today that it simply amazes me how quickly our town, which appears so small, can truly draw together and make such an amazing impact. I know my family continues to tell me there are requests made daily to see how you all can help. There are thoughts for a fundraiser in the works, and I am sure we will all communicate those to you all once we have some more concrete details to see if anyone would be interested in volunteering in anyway. In addition to our town of Ridgway pulling together, I also have to give kudos to the support we are receiving from our family and friends in Indiana. Matt's dad came in for the weekend, and certainly did his part in my recovery by fattening me up with gaucamole, lobster bisque, and delectable lemon cake. lol. By the time he left, he had me back up to 124! I never thought I'd see the day where I was bragging about gaining weight, let alone broadcasting it on the internet, however, it's quite an accomplishment from where I was at 110, and there will be a day that I won't be able to eat all those yummy things without feeling guilty, so I will relish in it for now. hah.

Next, I am so glad Kalen updated you all on what truly has been going on behind the scenes lately. Up until this point I have been very guarded about what has been known. However, after seeing all the love and support that has come pouring out from you all, I have realized we cannot receive the help you are all so willing to offer unless we open up and allow it. In addition to that, I know what a foreign concept this disease was to my family and I, and what difficulties we had finding answers on it, that I have decided if I can do anything to help another person, young or old, in my situation at all, I would like to embrace it whole heartedly, and that too requires me being open. If after reading his update, you have any questions- please feel free to ask. We usually do pretty good getting back to people, at least in a few days. :)

I started my first round of chemo treatments on Monday. What it basically consists of is sitting in a chair at Johns Hopkins for two hours hooked up to a pump- then after that I am hooked up to an IV that I take home with a very fashionable fanny pack (hence the sarcasm...lol) that continues to give me medicine for another 46 hours, and then a home health nurse comes in and unhooks me, and I am pumps/IVs/etc. free for about another 12 days! So far, so good with the first treatment.. I haven't (knock on wood) experienced any MAJOR side effects yet- so we are hoping that keeps up. One down, eleven more to go! Which leads me into my other major news. Yesterday Matt and I went out and about grocery shopping (quite a feat even on a good day..let alone a day carting a pump around as well..lol) and came home to a package on the front porch! Yes, I am completely like a little kid, packages still excite me, especially when they are packages that don't contain medical supplies! This particular package was from a group of ladies, and a few men (Andy and Bussard, I'm sure you were involved as well.lol) that hold a very fond place in my heart. Fox Township and Bennets Valley Elementary pulled together to send Matt and I a care package, and a very generous donation to help off set the costs we are incurring. But the most important part of the package was a home made chemo blanket!! This hit right at my heart, because on Monday, I was telling everyone how nice it would be to have my own blanket/pillow to take with me, to make the whole experience a little less "cold/clinical" and a little more of my own environment. Way to read my mind Fox and BV. I will have to upload a pic soon... it's amazingly comfy, and of course very chic! :) Many thanks to you all..you are all amazing.

Finally..I have to give some credit to my husband. I have not been much help in the kitchen lately, and he has completely picked up the slack, making amazing meals (even salmon on the grill on Monday!) as well as bringing me home flowers, and just in general, being patient and  putting up with me. It is such a blessing to have an amazing husband as part of my support team as well.

This should be a big weekend! I am hoping to continue feeling well, and my step-dad Jim, as well as my brother Kaleb are coming to visit. I can't wait, missing them both and it'll be good to see their faces again! Not to mention Matt will finally get his truck that he has been waiting for..you know boys and their toys, gotta have them. lol Also, it is mom's birthday, so we are hoping to cook a good dinner for everyone and enjoy some good company, and get away from all this "mess" for awhile.

As always, thank you for the continued love, support and prayers. Hope everyone has a great day!

Meghan

Can we get some actual details?

I attended a couple parties this weekend and came to the realization there is a lot of misinformation about Meghan’s current diagnosis/prognosis.  Meg and I thought it would be a good opportunity to take some time and show a high level view of what has occurred thus far, specifically, why is Meghan in the Baltimore area?

Here is the timeline since early May.

Early May 2012 - FAP Diagnosis in Dubois

May 2012 - Tests, Scans, and Surgery Prep

6/16/12 - Married to Matt, short Honeymoon in the Poconos

6/28/12 - Colectomy and ileostomy at UPMC Passavant

7/5/12 – Cancer diagnosis and staging

7/6/12 – Matt heads back to Afghanistan and Meg is discharged from UPMC

7/16/12 – ER visit and hospital stay for dehydration in Dubois

7/18/12 – Meetings with oncologists at UPMC

7/20/12 – Diagnosed with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. 

7/23/12 – Second opinion meetings with Johns Hopkins teams

7/23/12 – Meetings with IVF Clinic

7/27/12 – Move down to Annapolis, begin hormone treatments for IVF

8/3/12 – Matt returns back to Baltimore from Afghanistan, in time for egg fertilization

8/8/12 – Port placement completed at Johns Hopkins

8/10/12 – Egg harvesting completed

8/13/12 – First day of chemotherapy (FOLFOX) starts at Johns Hopkins

1/21/13 – Chemo end date (hopefully)

So here is the deal.  Meg has been diagnosed with Stage 3 Colorectal Cancer.  They were hoping that everything was contained in her colon when they took it out, but out of 80 lymph nodes removed with the colon, 16 were positive.  The good news is that cancer had not spread into the margins of tissue that were removed in the surgery.  Cancer has not shown up on the scans, but knowing it is in the lymph system buys Meghan a ticket for chemotherapy.  Dr. Azad always says "buys her a ticket" like she is jumping on a carnival ride, not sure that is the best choice of words.  

The standard FOLFOX regimen for fighting colorectal cancer is actually pretty well tolerated.  It won’t make Meg noticeably lose her hair, but there are side effects.  One that isn’t immediate but there, is the potential for the Oxyplatin to affect her ovaries and egg production following treatment.  To mitigate that risk, Meg had eggs harvested before chemo started.  She was hoping for a lot more than what she got, but some are better than none.  It just so happened that the timing worked perfect, because they wouldn't have delayed chemo to have that done.

She has about 6 months of chemotherapy ahead of her at Johns Hopkins.  Matt is going to be stationed in the immediate area there, so although she could have completed treatment at UPMC or even Dubois, she will likely stay in the Baltimore/Annopolis/DC area. 

Following chemotherapy, Meg will be a candidate to lose her ileostomy bag, referred to as a reversal.  It is a burden that she will be glad to shed.  That is a relatively easy surgery (compared to colectomy) but she will likely have to go through the whole process of starting on liquid diet and add new things slowly.  If she would run into problems with that procedure, which is possible, she has some other options which are better than her current situation. 

Most people wonder how Meg is handling all this.  It has been a hell of a couple months for Meg, but she has been handling it really well.  Some days she gets down and we have to remind ourselves how much she is processing in such a short period of time.  Before she started this journey, I would have wondered how she would handle any one of the circumstances she has faced, but she has surprised me.   

Another subject that most people don’t like to talk about is money.  How the hell can she afford all this?  First of all, by the grace of God, Meg and Matt decided to get married in a hurry not realizing what was out in front of them.  Based on that, Meg has been on his insurance.  I wanted to punch them both when they told me they were getting married so soon, but it was a reminder that God has a little better idea of what is going on than I do.  On the other hand, there is a lot of gas money, OTC medications, living expenses, IVF clinic expenses, etc. which are adding up.  We have kicked around the idea of a fundraiser, but Meg wants to know for sure she needs to ask for help before she does.  I can’t blame her.  Since she has been so busy over the past couple weeks, that has been put on the backburner, but I have offered to help her start a spreadsheet to organize her expenses.  Hopefully, more will be happening on that front in the future, because surviving the disease without bankruptcy seems to be a pretty lofty goal from what I read.

What is her prognosis?  Statistics are funny, it seems that they always come with all kinds of qualifications right?  If you look at her staging, she has a slightly better than 60% chance of surviving 5 years.  That seems pretty bad right?  The reality though is she is an odd duck.  Most people are 60-80 years old when they have this type of cancer.  That means two things, one is that they lower the success rate even if they die from something else, two is that they’re bodies are less likely to fight like a young person’s.  The reality is that Meg has a much better chance and things look promising.  The FAP diagnosis which isn’t talked about much will mean that she will need to be vigilant and will likely fight cancer again after this hurdle is cleared, but the good news is that it will likely be caught very early due to monitoring.  That is a “lets cross that bridge when we get there” kind of thing. 

I am attaching a photo of Meg.  I did some minor airbrushing to get rid of the incision she has from her port, just because I thought she would be more comfortable with that.  She looks way better than I look at 6:00am in a Myspace style phone picture.  She has come a real long way since just a couple weeks ago when she was flirting with the 110lb mark and not eating.

-Kalen

Sunday Morning Check-in

Just a quick administrative note, 7300 page views since Meghan started this journey.  Thank you all for the support, it means a lot to her! 

It is a lot harder for me to keep tabs on Meg while she is in Baltimore.  Hopefully now that treatment is starting, things will start slowing down for everyone there.  They were working on a very compressed schedule over the past couple weeks. 

Meghan's email address is mfitch86@gmail.com.  Lots of folks have been asking what they can do, and I think just a note of support would be helpful right now.  She probably won't have time to write back to everyone, but I know it means a lot when she hears from friends, both new and old.

- Kalen

ahhh...rest again!

Today is a "rest" day again after a whirlwind of activity. In the last few days we have gotten Meg's port for chemo in, finished the IVF treatments, got home health ready to go for following her during chemo, and pretty sure it is set for where Matt will be stationed.
So things are progressing and appear to be going as well as can be expected in this type of situation. We have also learned some things such as ..really stress that anasthesia (sorry I can't find spell check on here)makes her very nauseated and to request something for it before she gets sick. We found this out during the port placement b/c even though it was mentioned to the medical staff I don't believe that they understood it completely until after she was sick and then it delayed her discharge waiting for the medicine to kick in.
So at the clinic for the IVF harvest we did stress it and the wonderful staff put a nausea patch on b/f giving her the anasthesia. Plus the wonderful nurse gave her some extra ones to take home. From what I hear they may come in very handy once the chemo tx start. The actually harvest was a bit lower than hoped for ..only 7 eggs were considered ok to use but Meg is keeping a very positive attitude concerning it.
Matt has been following up on getting his orders to find out where he will be stationed and has had to make a couple of trips up to Fort Myers to get everything in place for that issue. He has had a guy (dave carr) whose family is from Ridgway area helping to get it all worked out (her dad helped to put that connection together) anyways between Dave Carr and the people here working together and being very helpful it now looks like there is a good chance he may actually get attached to the fort closer to Annapolis and may just have to email/call each day for a duty report. There was a time when we thought he might be attached to the one closer to DC and if they stayed here he would have a very long and tedious commute so their long term living arrangements were at a more questionable point. But now it looks like that is working out and hopefully they can stay here and he will be available to help take care of her and won't possibly need outside help once I go home. Yes I do eventually plan to go home, although I think my husband is begining to wonder about that! LOL. Vacation is nice but she doesn't require alot of time-consuming care (I am mainly providing moral support with a little extra hands on care at times) so I am really getting bored and lazy. In fact as a side note we were supposed to have a fun day today to celebrate the last 2 accomplishments and prepare for the next step but I have had an offer from Lisa to come help paint today and so I am off to work instead of fun and looking forward to it!
But it is hard at times..I tell her that considering she has been dealt a very bad hand in this game of life at this point it looks like she has been given the best bad hand someone could hope for..considering all the support she has and how well things have fallen into place for the things she needs to do to continue on with the dreams she had just a few shorts months ago..it is still very very difficult at times.
Last night was one of those moments..when I see her dealing with the ileostomy and the changes it has brought into her life then holding her arm stiff and close to her side b/c even though the port placement was a fairly simple procedure ..it still hurts to have a forigen object placed in your chest...and holding her hot packs on her tummy (b/c you know ..our overies really don't like getting stuck with a big long needle!) and then to see her try and walk around with a smile as she pounds down the liquids and food to stay hydrated and continue to try and gain weight to get ready for the next step.
It is hard and I will vent for just a moment of how much it hurts to see your child go from a perfectly healthy lifestyle to this enormus battle to keep her dreams that she was making just a short 4 months ago. There are times and parts of me that want to do everything I can physically for her and just sit down and cry with her over the unfairness of it all. But.. I know that won't help in the long run and then she gets a little pi_ _y (just a little..ya know she isn't a saint!) so I come back to reality and know that that kind of negativity won't help any of us esp her so I blank it out and try to come up with something that will bring one of her lovely smiles back. So it is going as well as be expected and we have many things to be grateful for and feel that although we don't know WHY? God is there and guiding us throught it all. Read the 23rd Psalm if you never have.
So today we..ok they..are sleeping in, going to enjoy having some fun in this cool place with lots of stuff to do and not think about Monday today. Keep it in your prayers though and help us at times to keep in mind that it is the begining of the end of all this crappy stuff in life..hopefully by next august it will only be a memory that will motivate us all to help someone else who is struggling with the unexpected in life. Going to try and get a really good pic of her and Matt on here today b/c in spite of the last few days she looks pretty good and it will be a good focus to hang on to and maintain.

Chemo sucks... but if it sucks the cancer out then we are all for it!!

Hey all.. I've been so kindly "prompted" by many in the family that I haven't done a blog updated in awhile- that I figured I would try to do one tonight. Tomorrow is going to be a VERY early morning for the three of us, but I thought now may be a good time, before things get "crazy". (As if they aren't already!)The title of this post is a sign that Matt and I both saw one day getting bloodwork done, and it caught both of our attention.

The IVF treatments we have been working on are moving along well, from what I understand. Matt and I went to yet another appointment this morning (at 7:30am. ..for those of you that don't know, we live roughly an hr away from the clinic, so this entails leaving at 6:30, and getting up at 5:30. I am so still not a morning person) But nevertheless, we made it. A few days ago we had a scare, or at least a scare in my mind. When the treatments started, everything went off without a hitch. I was responding to the injections great, to the point where basically, since Matt wasn't home at that point, they needed to slow me down, or as the put it to me the other day "coast me along" until Matt got home. Shortly after, and once Matt was home, my hormone levels dropped, and they couldn't figure out why. Well after a bit of me worrying, we went today and the doctor informed us, all is well, my levels never truly did drop, the nurse called the lab to double check the results and found out it was a lab error. Yay! However, right about when it was time to do my daily shots today, we discovered we were one needle short that we needed for my injections. Yikes! We were all fearing driving an hour, merely to get one needle. Luckily the nurse at the clinic was great, and called it into the local Rite Aid, and we were able to avoid that debacle. So, now we seem to be on schedule to do the procedure Friday, but we will have a better idea after our appointment again tomorrow. For those of you that do not know, Matt and I are going through these treatments basically as a safegaurd. There is a chance that as a side effect of the chemotherapy regiment, I will become sterile. Fortunately, through the help of the clinic, and an amazing grant we received through Sharing Hope (an affiliate of Live Strong), we are able to undergo these treatments. Therefore, someday when we have finished with this battle, and decide we are crazy enough to take on the battle of parenting, we will be able to. :)

Aside from that, things are moving along quickly for my chemo treatments. Tomorrow morning I go in for my port placement. The easiest way to explain what this is, is that it's what I'll receive my treatments through, plus they will be able to draw blood through it without having to prick my poor veins a million times!! (the IVF clinic has done enough of that lately :-/..) and from what I have been told, they can use it to run tests as well. So bright and early that's what we will be doing. I am dreading the anesthesia- really hoping it doesn't make me nausea this time. Yes, I am still terrified of all this medical stuff! If all goes as planned, I am scheduled to begin my chemo treatments bright and EARLY Monday morning. (Yeah, they don't mess around with early appointments down here. My husband loves this fact.)

On a side note away from medical news- I think I am finally making progress. Thanks to my amazing husband, who has cooked me many great meals and keeps me stocked up with protein drinks and gatorade- as well as my loving momma bringing me snacks every time she walks up and down the stairs, I am finally putting on weight! Tonight the scale said 121.5. I know, that's at night and you are not supposed to weigh yourself at night, but you know what? That's the number I like, and that's the number that makes me feel better, so right now, I am going with it. (In the morning it at least says 119.5-120, which is still a HUGE improvement from where I was not long ago at 110) We have made it out on a few ventures lately to the mall, and also down town today. Matt's dad, Mike,  is coming to visit Saturday and join the crew of my care team. haha. We are really looking forward to seeing him. Hope he can keep up with the craziness in this house!

I know many of you have been asking what you can do to help us right now. Which is absolutely amazing. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to us. I am sure we are going to need a lot of help, but at the moment I can't think of specific things. I will really try to work on that. But in the meantime, please keep up what you all have been doing. Keep the prayers coming, keep sending the good thoughts/vibes/etc. whatever it is that you believe in, and keep the support coming to us and our families.

On a final note- I don't know how many of you have seen on Facebook, but I posted a note a short while back about how God has seemed to place many nurses/doctors in my path on days where I need them most. It never fails. Lately, I have been pretty down and just down right grumpy (ask Matt, he'll def agree. When I'm not around at least. :)...Then today at the clinic we spoke with a doctor that told us he was diagnosed at 29 with cancer, and he beat it..he is WAY past 29 now. (Sorry, but his white hair kind of gave him away). Anyway, he put it to me like this. "The treatment is going to suck. Your life is going to change, but for the better. You'll make it."
 
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

-Words to a song I've been listening to a lot lately..I know, even on the bad days, that his hands are holding me, and will help us all to persevere through.