"The Storms of Our Life Prove the Strength of Our Anchor"

Many people say everything happens for a reason, and while I would not neccesarily say there is a "reason" this trial has happened to me, there have certainly been many blessings. For example, personal relationships for both myself and Matt have been strengthened through all of this. I know I have had a chance to get back in contact with many people I may have not talked to in years, as well as meeting many wonderful new people along the way. Beyond this, however, what sticks out to me the most is all of the acts of kindness you all have bestowed upon us along the way. Be it a card in the mail to say you are thinking of us, an unexpected, but very welcome donation, help with fundraisers, support through fundraisers, support to our families, or even just a phone call to say hi and that you are keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.. each time it blows me away, and truly warms my heart. Which brings me to my next point. I apologize in advance to those of you that have facebook and have already seen this post, however, I didn't feel right not sharing it with the people that do not have facebook. This week, I returned home to find an absolutely wonderful surprise! I came home one evening to find a package on my porch from Jill Croker (friend who is nothing short of amazing)... I opened it up to find a bracelet that I had found one day while purusing the internet, and hadn't really mentioned it to anyone. But a group of my friends from highschool; Christa Buck, Megan Buehler, Brittany Roof, Cyndi Burkett, Jill Croker and Katie Burkhouse, had all chipped together and sent this to me. I won't lie, it definitely brought tears to my eyes! Don't get me wrong, I have always known we had a special group of friends, since highschool. Granted we have always had our ups and downs, but our class has had an ability to really stand behind and support each other in times of need, and that is exactly what this amazing group of ladies did. Thank you all for putting so much thought into this gift for me. Now everyday when I am wearing it, each time I look down I get a reminder that I am not alone in this fight, I am loved, supported and thought of often by all of you, which continues to give me the strength and courage I need for this. (Just as a side note..Jill had mentioned this bracelet could "tide me over" until I get my tattoo...I had to quickly correct her, this bracelet is a whole lot less painful, and doesn't involve all the needles a tattoo does..the tattoo can wait. I have had my fill of needles for now!) Check out the picture of the bracelet below..it's so unique! I believe they are still on etsy if anybody is interested in one. :)

 So tomorrow is treatment #9! YAY! ....3 more. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am for this countdown. If all goes as planned, we should be done with treatment #12 on January 28th. So far, everything is going as well as can be expected..although the hair is still thinning quite a bit :-/ ...Ugh. Call me vain, but it is certainly not an easy thing for a girl to take. However, if that is the worse that I get in getting rid of this nasty stuff, I'll suck it up and take it. If you all could, please keep us in prayer tomorrow, and the rest of the week. Lately, it has seemed to be a trend that Matt and I end up in the ER over the weekend. We have had two scares lately, but thanks to the power of prayer, both times it has turned out to be nothing, and we have been able to come home the same night without being admitted. (Always a plus!) BUT, I am sure there has to be better things to do on the weekend than hang out at the ER, so if you could say a prayer that we don't end up there again, we would greatly appreciate it. :) Another big thing coming up is meeting with the genetics counselor in January. Yikes. I'm really not sure how I feel about that yet, but I figure the positive is that at least after that we will have a much better idea with what we are exactly dealing with, and in turn be able to develop an even better plan of prevention for the years to follow. Also, we have a fundraiser in the works that I believe is going to take place on March 31st. It is a raffle fundraiser, with some pretty awesome prizes! I am hoping to get a post on here soon explaining it more in detail. If you would like to know anything more about it, please feel free to ask me, my brother Jamie, or my dad.

So Christmas...snuck up pretty quick, right? Or was that just me? haha. We did manage to get a tree up in the house though! This is the first year Matt and I will be spending a Christmas together, so it is pretty exciting! We are leaving this week to make our cross country trek (or so I like to call it. haha.) We are going to spend a few days in PA, a few days in Indiana, then make our trek back to Annapolis just in time to do treatment #10 on New Years Eve. I am always like a little kid on Christmas, but even more so this year! We both can't wait to see all of our families and spend some long overdue time catching up with everyone. :) Do any of you have any exciting plans for Christmas? Maybe we will get the chance to see some of you!


Before starting this post, I was mainly going to update you all on the bracelet, the progress of where we are at in journey, and wish you all happy holidays. However, given the recent events happening in our country, I have a heavy heart tonight and I need to address that as well. The recent shooting in Connecticut breaks my heart. All opinions of anti guns/gun control/2nd Ammendment aside, we as a society have to acknowledge what a terribly said situation we are in. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that it is now acceptable in the minds of some to take aggression out on the youngest, most innocent of victims. I can not even begin to fathom what the families of these victims are going through right now, and my heart continues to break for them and the road they must travel, especially during this time of the year. It was after all this that I realized how much my "strength statement" applies to them as well. How true is it that the storms of their lives will truly prove the strength of their anchor. There are no answers, no words of comfort that can be offered to soothe the hurt for them at this time, but we can all continue to keep them in prayer, that God will show them the strength of their anchor  comfort them in the way that only he can, and see them through this cruel storm.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday..Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! God bless you all..

Weekend Visit and lots of other pics

Hello Hello! I'm sorry I've been slacking lately- haven't had much news to update with lately. (I'll take that though- it's definitely better than updating with bad news!) Last weekend, I had my first outing with friends! :) My roommates from college, Katie and Jen, made the trip down to visit us. It couldn't have been timed better because I was really having a hard time with the whole situation  (all those FUN side effects were taking a toll..hair thinning more, fatigue, etc. yay) , and getting out of the house to get my mind off it all was just what I needed. Thanks ladies! We went to Baltimore for the day, and I finally made it to the Inner Harbor. If you are ever in the area, you have to check it out! After having an amazing dinner and some kick-ass cheesecake, they called it a night. We had a great time, and I'm hoping it's not too long before we can do it again. *I think even Matt enjoyed it, either that or he just liked having me out of his hair for a day. lol* I'm posting some pics for y'all to enjoy too.

Other than that there's not a whole lot happening this way. Matt started back to work this week, and all seems to be going well there. We both survived the week, and I survived just fine being home by myself all week. haha. Treatment #7 is creeping up and will be here on Monday, then after that we will busy getting ready for Thanksgiving.. Anybody have any exciting plans for the holiday?

Almost forgot! Recently a few people have asked for me to post our updated address on the blog. We are currently at
686 Genessee Street
Annapolis, MD 21401

Hope all is well with everyone! Please keep the prayers and good thoughts coming.

Lots of love..

Nice day at Sandy Point State Park

He's going to kill me for posting this one- but I think it looks like one of those Sasquatch commercials..lol makes me giggle.

Random Rambling

So this week's post is going to be exactly what the title claims. A bunch of random rambling. All the updates I have for this week are so all over the place, that random was the best title for them. :) Haha. Matt and I survived our trip to PA, and managed to make it back JUST in time for Sandy to hit! Luckily, we were very fortunate that the storm itself didn't do much damage, just a bit of water in our basement. Considering how bad other people were hit by this storm, I'd say it's safe to say we were blessed! However, I was scheduled to have my 6th treatment on Monday, but due to the extreme weather conditions, it was rescheduled to tomorrow. Initially, I was a bit bummed about missing a treatment again, but I quickly realized it was just an additional week for my body to get stronger, and even more time for me to feel "normal" for a bit longer. (it's hard to explain how amazing it is to feel "normal" and feel much more like your old self during all this mess.) So off to Baltimore we go again bright and early tomorrow.

I'm not sure how many of you caught that tomorrow is my 6th treatment...I have 12 treatments total. That's right- tomorrow is 50% done with this stuff- Half way through!! You better bet I will be playing some Living on a Prayer on the way to and from the hospital. haha

On a side note, I gave acupuncture a try for the first time Friday. One of my doctors had recommended it as a way to treat the neuropathy I have been experiencing (and possibly prevent further damage), as well as tackling any fertility issues I may encounter from this, and the most exciting part- if chemopause occurs, it may be able to reverse it! (I know everyone isn't quite as versed in all these wonderful terms associated with the "C", so the quick explanation is chemopause is an early onset of menopause that can occur as a result of my treatments..hotflashes at 26? fantastic.) So needless to say, I was curious as I want to look into every possible way I have to treat and defeat this stuff. I have to be honest, the needles seriously do not hurt! I am a HUGE baby about needles (I still have to look away when they draw my blood), and it didn't bother me a bit. Of course everyone that has experienced acupuncture told me going into it that they don't hurt, but I figured that was the usual BS everyone gives you when you are going to do something. Low and behold, they were right! Honestly it was pretty relaxing, once you get past the needle part, 30 minutes in a calm room, where you have nothing to think about but laying there and relaxing. I'd think all of us could use that, even if the needles weren't involved. lol I'm pretty hopeful about it all, although I am a pretty firm believer in the power of the mind and thinking, and I think what you "believe" will work holds a lot of weight. I will keep you all updated on it as my treatments progress.

All of the Elk County crew will appreciate this next part... Team Meghan made it all the way to the Turkey Trot! Brandy was sporting her Team Meghan shirt, along with some other awesome apparel I might add..lol, and was nice enough to allow me to post her pic on here. Plus she said she had counted 5 other Team Meghan shirts there today. Can I just tell you all again how much I love you all for this support? It's amazing to see that it keeps coming with no end.

That being said, I think the second order of t-shirts has been picked up and I believe they are in the process of delivering them to you all now. If you haven't received your t-shirt, I ask that you please be patient. My brother and sister-in-law, as well as my dad and Jenna have put a huge deal of time and effort into this, and there's quite a bit of leg work that goes into sorting all the shirts and getting them delivered to the right people- but they are on it! Thanks again to everyone who orchestrated this, and thanks to all of you for purchasing and supporting us!

I think that's all going on around these parts right now, hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and have a great week. Oh- and if you happen to be blasting some Bon Jovi tomorrow, I won't be offended. :) Feel free to celebrate with me!

Home sweet home :)

My apologies for not updating this in so long! However, as usual, things have been nothing short of crazy lately.  Let's see how I do catching this all up in a somewhat short nutshell. haha. Matt made it to Alaska, finally cleared out up there, and has made his way back home to Annapolis. Which means that starting next week he will officially begin work at Fort Meade (and I will be at home by myself all day...what to do..lol) Luckily for him, timing worked out that he was able to see a lot of his buddies return home from their deployment in Afgahnistan while he was up in Alaska. This was quite the blessing, not only to give him a break to re-charge, but it was also important to him to be able to see all of his guys home safely. Thank you again to Deidra and Burley for taking care of him for a few weeks. :)

While he was gone, of course I had to find something to do to entertain myself.  Fortunately for me, I was lucky enough to have lots of family come visit. Mom spent two weeks at our house helping me clean, organize, and decorate for Fall. Our house actually looks like our "home" now, more than just a house we are in. It's funny how something so simple can be such a huge comfort. As if that was not enough fun; dad, Nancy, Luke and one of his friends made the trip down for the weekend and we took a short jaunt over to the Eastern Shore, made it downtown for a great seafood dinner, and even saw some of the awesome boats downtown during The Boat Show.

Now with all of that good news- there has to be a few set backs I suppose. Mom had initially came to MD so she could take me to my treatment on Monday while Matt was gone. Well we woke up bright and early Monday and went to Baltimore, but apparently life had different plans for me that day. Unfortunately my blood work came back that day showing my levels were too low to receive treatment, I would have to take some medicine for a week and come back again and try the following Monday. As if that wasn't bad enough, the low levels also earned me a first class ticket for giving myself a shot every Thursday after I had treatments. Yuck! I've said it a million times, and probably a million more, I hate shots and anything to do with them.

 So that day I was pretty bummed out. (I know, you would think not having to get nasty medicine pumped into ya for a week would be a good thing- but I'm an odd duck and being pushed back a week on my overall goal was hard to handle). However, after a bit of moping and complaining to anyone and everyone around (hah) I sucked it up, and low and behold it turned out to be a good thing. It's kind of funny how sometimes our body knows what we need a bit more than we do! The week off was great! I finally felt "normal" again, no fatigue, no headaches, I was able to galivant all around Annapolis with mom for a few days and welcome my husband back home, feeling good. It's the small things these days that count. :) So Matt and I went back to Baltimore Monday for treatment #5, and it all went well. Bloodwork looked great again, the infusion at the hospital went well, and my nurse even showed up on time at the hospital, AND at home to take me off of my pump! (For those of you that hear me vent on a regular basis, you know this is an accomplishment! hahah) Even more good news, our insurance company cooperated with providing us the shot that I need to take the day following treatment, so we were able to bring it home with us and administer it at home, rather than driving back to Baltimore Thursday morning just for a quick shot. Huge relief! However, that was about all that the shot was good for. lol. It was NO fun giving the shot Thursday- and believe it or not, I didn't get a pretty colored bandaid OR a lollipop for being good during it. I think I need to discuss this with my nurse. lol. Luckily, there were no side effects from the shot so far though- great news!

Since I was feeling well- Matt and I decided to pack up and head to PA for the weekend. We have a meeting with Dr. McLaughlin in Pittsburgh Monday afternoon, (he is an awesome guy- if anybody ever needs to see an oncologist, I highly recommend him!) so we decided to make a long weekend trip out of it and see some family and friends while we are home.  So far it has been a wonderful trip- perfect timing to be back in PA, it has been absolutely breathtaking seeing all of the leaves changing colors. We have also had a chance to see most of the family so far, Matt has been terrorized by our 3 nieces for an entire night, and we even took a trip to Benezette today so I could show Matt the famous Elk herd our area is famous for.  There were so many elk out today, and even more people! We tried our best to snap a few pictures for you all to see.

I hope you all are getting to enjoy the beautiful fall weather just as much as we are. Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes- please know that they are certainly working, we see that each and everyday through different blessings. Please keep them coming! The love and support from all of you is exactly what we need to keep fighting the fight. God Bless! :)

Meghan and Matt

T-Shirts... continued

Wow! I'm pretty speechless after looking at all these again. It's nothing short of amazing to see all of the support from you all pouring in! I swear I am like a little kid on Christmas each time I get on Facebook and see a new picture. (Just ask Matt or my mom..lol). It's hard to explain just how much this means, and how much it helps me want to fight this nasty thing even more. I know Kalen had mentioned in his previous post that they are all on Facebook, but I figured I would put all of the ones that I have to date for you all to see as well. :) And the even better part? There is still more support coming! Some of out friends from Alaska are getting in on this next order (can't wait to see those pics!), friends from NC and SC, and even friends that I ,unfortunately, haven't talked to in years are joining in to support- Ania Terry you made my day the other day by ordering one!

I think that is an awesome idea that Team Bullers has to have a Team Meghan profile pic day if y'all are up for it, and having it as a celebration day once this chemo is over sounds fantastic! (Just a side note, I am 33.3% done with this nasty stuff... for those of you that know me, I'm terrible at math, I didn't do that calculation on my own, a fellow colon cancer fighter figured it out for me. haha) But none the less, 4 down, 8 more to go, and then I would love to see your profile pics supporting Team Meghan.

I also would like to thank all the faculty and staff at Francis S. Grandinetti Elementary School. Yesterday Matt and I received a heartwarming note with a very generous donation from their CARE days at the school. Thank you all so much for your help!

Now for a quick update- We are rounding the bend leading in to treatment #5 on Monday. I am hoping it will go as well as #1,#2, and #4....#3 was a little bit hairy and a pain in the ass. But I am going in positive! Side effects haven't been too bad this time, thank God, and I have been able to maintain my weight so far. Matt is in Alaska for a few weeks, which is somewhat of a double edged sword. It's great that we finally know he will be here with me in Annapolis for the next year, however, it is a real bummer that he is stuck up in Alaska for so long and will be missing the next treatment. I'll be missing him for sure, as this will be the first treatment without him. I don't think the nurses will know what to do without him sprawled out in the bed sleeping next to me. lol Luckily, Jim (my step dad) has been flexible enough that he is okay with me stealing mom for a few extra days, and she will take me to treatment and hang out for a few days after until Matt gets home. I will be wearing my Team Meghan T-shirt to this treatment to get some autographs from my nurse Joanne and my doctors.

On a note aside from all the medical bs- mom has been here "visiting" since Monday. I say it like that, because my mom doesn't really know how to visit or vacation...haha She has been working since she got here, which is a complete godsend for me! We now are no longer living out of totes and boxes, our house actually looks lived in, and we have a freezer stocked full of food for treatment days where we don't feel like cooking. Tomorrow, I am giving her the day off and we are getting out to at least do some "window-shopping". Also, Dad, Nancy, Jenna, and Luke are coming down Saturday morning. It will be great to see them again finally, and to show them around Annapolis! :)  I am one lucky girl to have such great family and friends willing to come visit and put up with me so I am not too lonely while the hubbs is away.

Please do take a minute to send some good thoughts and lots and lots of prayers Gary Gerber's way. This whole situation is such a nasty one to deal with, that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, and my case was even fairly straight forward. Some of the bumps and hurdles that I have heard he has had to overcome, he certainly deserves some love and support! Great news that he is home though, speaking from experience, hospitals are no place to recover, and there is nothing quite like the comfort of your own home when you're feeling down. Keep your chin up Coach, keep fightin' and it'll get better! Also, I know I mentioned this on Facebook and Kalen did as well, but if you can, please stop by Bill Mitchell's fundraiser on October 14th. He and his wife could really use your support, plus it is spaghetti- who doesn't like spaghetti!? Bill and Lara, you have all the support in the world coming from Matt and I, and we are keeping you in our prayers daily. Stay strong, and defy the verdict!

Thanks again for all of the love, support and prayers- can never have too much of that! Maybe someday, as the article from MD Anderson put it, dying from cancer will be as common as dying from pneumonia. We just have to keep searching.  Hope all is well with everyone and you all get to enjoy a wonderful weekend!

Tshirts and stuff

Most of the shirts from the first order have been handed out, just a handful left. The second order looks to be over 100, so that would be well over 400 shirts total. Crazy to think about the amount of support Meg has! There are some real cool photos on Facebook if you have access.

Matt is in Alaska, so my mom is down in Annapolis with Meg. My stepdad Jim has lost over 20 lbs with my mom being gone so much, so we had him down for dinner last night so Trish could fatten him up. I also stole a couple hours of drywall help.

Team Bullers ( Autumn and Paul) are pushing for a Facebook profile pic day of folks in Team Meghan tshirts. If things work out, we may try to coordinate that with a chemo anniversary for a little extra good vibes for Meg.

Meg seems to be doing well. Sometimes we have to remind her this is hopefully just a temporary inconvenience.

I hear Coach Gerber just had surgery and after a couple bumps in the road is back home. Try to send some well wishes his way if you have the opportunity. Also, there is a fundraiser for Bill Mitchell in Ridgway on Oct 14 for those that can attend. This is a fight for everyone, so Meg encourages you all to support anyone that is fighting this nasty disease!

Peace and good vibes to all! Keep you prayers and notes of support coming.

Checking in..

Sorry I haven't updated lately- haven't had a whole lot going on. BUT I have came up with something for you all tonight! First- I have to take a minute to brag about my hubbs for a little bit. He has been working his butt off on projects around the house for me (who doesn't love a "honey-do list"?) and his latest project has involved sanding/restaining chairs so they all match our dining room. Now he has one completed (looks great!), one sanded and ready to be stained and just one more to go. He's been working away at those, even on the days where I am sitting on the couch watching recorded Ellen episodes. lol. However, more exciting news, we finally received the definite confirmation from the Army that Matt can be stationed here. He went before the board earlier this week and was told he is stationed here for a year, and it seems like it'll be something he'll really enjoy! :) No more worrying about them sending him back to Alaska- we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Speaking of people being wonderful, I received another amazing care package last night! Rebecca Wonderly-Pombosa sent me such a heartfelt package last night that I'll be honest it brought both tears, and a much needed smile to my face. There were many neat things in there- but two I have to suggest you check out if you have never seen them before are the clinging cross, and the book "50 Days of Hope". The book is awesome. Like I said, I just received it last night, and I'm already hooked. If you have cancer, or know anybody at all who has had cancer, it's a must. The author is a cancer survivor herself, she has went through cancer with several family members, and is now a cancer patient advocate. Without telling you ALL about it, I will tell you this much- she gives you just a quick blurb to remind you that cancer is only as big as you allow it to be. Cancer is not bigger than God, cancer is not bigger than your faith, cancer is not bigger than your hope, and cancer is not bigger than your joy. All things that are nice to be reminded of daily. Thanks again, Rebecca! You were always the most thoughtful person in highschool, but it's great to know I am still in your thoughts.

Other miscellaneous news- I finally went to get my haircut! I haven't had it touched since before the wedding, and it was beginning to look like a combination of a hot mess/rat's nest. So I had a good bit chopped off, the even better news, the chic cutting my hair said it is definitely not thinning yet!! YAY. :) I'm not sure if she knows what she's talking about or not, but right now I'll go with it. I'm attaching a picture so you all can give me some input. Other than that we are just hanging around the house this weekend, prepping for treatment on Monday. Another favor to ask, could you all keep me in your thoughts Monday? The last treatment was a little more uncomfortable than the first two, and I am really hoping it's not a trend. Thank-you!

Oh yeah, T-Shirts are in!! :) I can't wait to see all the pictures of everyone. Once again, thank you to everyone for your support through those, and a huge thank you to Kalen, Trisha, Dad, Jenna, Mom, Brandy and everybody else who has coordinated this whole deal. We love you!  Anyway- hope all is well and you are enjoying the weekend. We had 88 degree weather on our first day of Fall. I suppose there are some perks to living in MD.

:)