~The reason for the season~

So much has been going on in our lives lately, that when it finally calmed down enough today- I knew I needed to update a post on here for any of those that may stumble upon here anymore. There have been so many exciting changes in our lives. As expected, the Army decided it had been too long since we set up house in MD- and Matt received orders to Fort Bragg, NC. Luckily, we have both lived in this area of NC before, so it was a move we were happy to do. Even more exciting, we decided it was time to put down permanent roots, we bought our first home! After many hours of searching, Matt found us a home that is perfect- it's absolutely beautiful, with a nice yard- which makes it Daphney approved!:) However...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't very apprehensive going into the house buying process. I apologize in advance for the "dreary" tone of these next couple senteces. In honesty, these are the types of things I typically filter from most everyone, but after thinking often about this- I felt guilty for being stingy. Truthfully, these are the moments where I'm most able to share the light that God has been able to shine in my life despite the darkness of this illness, and keeping it to myself, I was being stingy with the very thing some may need to hear. Similar to the way that if I knew the cure to cancer I would be sharing it with anyone and everything for it's life saving potential, I feel the need to share this information with all of you as well. This is one of those times it crept from the back corner of my mind to the forefront, that monster. That monster that unfortunately has established residency in my brain- cancer. Almost every time we mentioned looking at houses, I had instantly had that thought "How can we even think of buying a house? What if I'm not here long enough to actually live in this house? How can I possibly fathom getting this house, and stick Matt with a huge loan when I'm gone? Why even bother finding my dream home- I should just be content in a basic rental for the time I have here" I allowed these thoughts to continue to bully me, and steal the joy from one of my biggest dreams. Key words there, I allowed these thoughts. Regardless of how well versed you are in the bible, what version you read, or whatever denomination of Christianity you believe in- it's really no secret that scripture states there are power in our words, and also that our mind is the greatest weapon we can hand over to the enemy. Growing up, my mom had relentlessly told me "If you want to sit around and mope, then that's how things will continue, negatively. Being upset is no reason to be unpleasant- count your blessings and you will see things get better". This is one of many times I am sure in my adult life I will begrudgingly admit, my parents were right. As I mentioned earlier, I was allowing these thoughts to corrupt my life and steal my joy. Yes, there is darkness in my life. I was diagnosed with this horrid hereditary disease, it had progressed to cancer, I did have to have the nasty chemicals of chemo pulsing through my veins, I underwent a challenging surgery that has forever changed my "normal" and what I see when I look in the mirror. But, that's not where my story ends. Not unless I chose for it to be. When I actually stepped back to look at my situation, these dark times are where God has shown brightest in my life. I have this ugly disease FAP, but God lined me up with doctors at Johns Hopkins, which also happens to be where some of the top FAP doctors are located; I had cancer, but that doesn't mean I have to act like I STILL do. In fact, the latest tests show that I am still healthy and I am about to come up on 2 years of disease free. Beyond that, I am quite possibly the healthiest I have been, undoubtedly much more active, and much more aware and watchful of what I am putting in my body. Unfortunately, I did have to go through those chemo treatments, but God's hand saw me through each of those treatments without major complications, and thankfully I barely have any neauropathy lingering this winter! (*Those of you that have dealt with neuropathy know that this last statement alone is praise worthy enough. haha:) I did undergo the Jpouch surgery, but God blessed me by putting me in the hands of a very skilled surgeon, Dr. Medich, who continues to be a god-send and helps me still to this day. After the challenges I faced recovering, I can say now that I can do pretty much anything I would like to, and when meeting a stranger on the street, they don't "see" anything from my surgery to make any preemptive judgements. Again, knowing so many other warriors that have fought this battle and had less favorable results, I know this is something to give thanks for.I have also secured a job that I enjoy, working with children again- and I have even lined up a few interviews with public elementary schools! As intimidating as it is to dip my toes back into the world of teaching, it's also very exciting to know that opportunity is on the horizon! So as you can see, in a nutshell, I had no reason to not pursue my dream of owing my own house. God has healed me, and has continued to release blessings on me and my family. Once I chose to recognize and focus on this and verbalize it, I saw things come into a much better perspective. Yes, the sickness could come back, but that is a bridge I will cross and deal with at that time if need be. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy the gift that God has brought into my life, our new home that has opened a whole new adventure for us! Okay- coming back down from cloud nine... Although I am basking in the joy of the blessings in my life- that doesn't mean I am escaping the realities of my life as well. Unfortunately, as an FAP patient and cancer survivor, to some degree my calendar will always be marked with doctors appointments and tests. With the coming of the new year-- will also bring my next scans and bloodwork, as well as basically my annual "FAP check up", checking every nook and cranny of my body. Can we say anxiety? Add to that the fact that I will be switching doctors due to the move, and it gets even better. Just another time to put this "mind over matter" approach to the test, huh? If you could keep me in your prayers around that time I would appreciate it, and I promise to update and let you know how it all goes! I hope you all are getting ready for the holidays and preparing to spend time with your families! As for us, Matt and I will be making our Christmas trip, stopping in both PA and Indiana to see our families- I am so excited to be feeling well enough to enjoy every minute of it, and not having to rush back for treatment! Wishing you all a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”

Already?!

Wow- time truly does fly. As I sat down to write today, I realized I had never submitted my draft from November when I was going in for my 9 month scans. Now it is just about that time again, with my 1 year scan creeping up. On Monday, I will be doing the usual camp out at Hopkins for my CT scan and blood work. Then 4 days later I will be celebrating my 28th birthday. Yikes! When the heck did that happen?? I was a bit hesitant scheduling my scans that close to my birthday, but then I realized if I put them off until afterwards, I will just spend my birthday worrying, and more importantly- what greater birthday gift could I celebrate than 1 year cancer free?! I won't lie and say I don't have anxiety about the impending appointment, but I am really trying to trust in God and the fact that he's seen me through this far, I'm confident he can do it one more time. Over the past month or two I have had to take what I would call a "walk back through my cancer journey". Whether it be for the article I wrote about my experience with FAP or just trying to locate something for medical records, and for a lack of better words it was nothing short of traumatic. I didn't realize just how much re-reading old notes or medical records could rip all the wounds open again. It's still unbelievable to me how much has happened, and how much has changed in this short of a time. Thinking back to where I was a year ago, it is no doubt by the grace of God that I am where i am at today. I had not quite finished up my chemo, I was weak, dealing with neuropathy and hair loss, and trying to prep for my last surgery. Fast forward to today and it's hard to believe a body can recooperate that much in a year.I count my blessings that for the most part my life is now back to "normal", aside from those lovely 3 month check ups. However, in comparison with others who have been down this road I know I am very fortunate. I have not had to make any drastic changes, and most of those that I have made, I make by choice. I've learned more to watch what I eat (turns out this means more than just watching what goes in your mouth), eating way more fruits and veggies, trying to buy locally grown/organic produce when possible (I never wanted to be a grocery snob, but the whole pesticide ordeal scares the crap out of me..too much time on your hands after surgeries leads to way too much time to read on the internet.), cutting processed foods and sugar way back or or out entirely, relying mainly on fish/chicken with a little bit of red meat, supplementing with some vitamins and seriously increasing my intake of water. Since all of this has happened, water has basically became my go to drink, it's pretty odd to see me without a bottle of water in my hand. Unless of course there's a coffee cup. :) Lots of people say you should kick the habit of coffee. Not happening. It is one of my true loves in life and I just ain't parting with it. haha OH, and most importantly I've tried to making exercising much more a part of my routine and not just random spurts. It's pretty hard to do, especially in the snow fall we have been having lately- but it's worth it in the end! Certainly doesn't hurt my health at all and research shows it can improve survival rates in cancer survivors. I apologize for that little bit of a rant, but it seems with each day I hear of more and more people affected by cancer, and it breaks my heart. Even more scary, it seems to be that there are more and more young people it is reaching. I don't know whether it was because I grew up in a small town and my world is now more diversified, but I never remember knowing of this many people dealing with some sort of cancer diagnosis. There's all sorts of suggestions as to what's causing this increase, but no one seems to have any answers. The only thing known for sure is it is definitely relevant to all of us. Whether it be a hereditary cancer like mine was, sarcoma, leukemia, etc., in today's world it is touching all of us and I can't express how important it is to do whatever you can do in means of prevention. On to some other news--I am a bit late on this but, my brother Kaleb and his wife Fabi welcomed their first child, baby Thomas, into the world in November. He is beyond precious and I love him to pieces! I have full intentions on spoiling him and becoming favorite Aunt. It's so weird to me to see all my brothers as fathers now, but it's also amazing and I feel so blessed that I'm here to see all of it. I am hoping to sneak a few pics of Thomas in this post for you all. Luckily, he takes after Fabi and got his looks from her side of the family! :) haha The smallest things really do show us what is important in life. :)

AND Matt and I have a new addition to our family. Our new puppy Daphney! :) Daphney is a mini australian shepherd and was my surprise early birthday present from Matt this year. She is such a sweetheart, and a complete ball of energy! She is definitely keeping me busy, but it's hard to complain about that when it comes to this face.

It sounds like the warmer weather is finally coming this weekend, so I hope you all get out to enjoy it. Please keep us in your prayers, as I will continue to pray for you all. It seems like life can be so crazy and busy lately, and I've really found this verse to be helpful. In a world where we are trained to go,go,go- how hard it can be to just stop. But he truly means it, if you will only be still, God will fight your battles on your behalf. God bless! "The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still. Exodus 14:14

Thanks!

Wow! It's hard to believe so much time has passed so quickly. I was just thinking on the way to work this morning how quickly the time has gone by. Just a year ago, we were in the midst of treatments, and I had, for a lack of better words, holed up at home. I had no desire to go outside of the house for much, and I pretty much didn't. Now, here I am a year later, quite the opposite! I am back to working 4 days a week, keeping up with the housework (or trying to at least..haha), running most days (I even get to sneak a few days of running with my favorite running partner, the hubbs, every now and then!), and being busy on most weekends. What a blessing! Before this whole ordeal I would have never thought of "being busy" as a blessing, now I know it is nothing short of that, and thank God every day that I am able to count that blessing.  I apologize for not updating more regularly, I always have full intentions of updating at least a month, but as we know, life creeps up and plans change. :) Thankfully my mom picked up the ball and covered for me the last time. Haha. As she reported, I had my 6 months scans in August and was given the all clear for another 3 months. So we will head back at the end of November for my next scan, and God willing, receive the same results. I can't express enough gratitude for all of the prayers you have been sending my way- please keep them coming! The first two years after treatment are the most crucial, as that is when most recurrences creep up. I am fully confident that with your prayers and God on my side, I will make it to the 2 year mark all clear, and each 3 month check mark is just another reason to for praise and thanksgiving!

If you missed my mom's previous post, we have two other reasons for praise in our family lately! Two babies! Kalen, Trisha, and Jack welcomed Miss Cora into the family about a week ago, and Kaleb and Fabi  are expecting their baby boy in just a few short months! :) Unfortunately, I have yet to meet baby Cora, but she is absolutely gorgeous in her pictures (There's been some chatter she looks like her favorite aunt??), and I can't wait to snuggle up to her soon. I've even heard big brother Jack might be liking her a little bit as well. I'm a sucker for babies, there's no way around it, and I'm hoping God will bless us with a family sooner rather than later, but these two will certainly curb my baby fever for awhile! :) haha

And yet another blessing, Matt and I were finally able to go on vacation! :) Due to my diagnosis coming right after our wedding, we truly didn't have time for a honeymoon as we had to move full speed ahead with treatments. So we promised ourselves that once this was all done and over with, we would go somewhere. Holding on to that thought kept me going many times when things got ugly... and thank God, we finally made it! We just returned from Montego Bay, and it was absolutely amazing. I feel bad because every time someone asks about the trip, that's what I tell them, but there are just no other words for it. The whole entire trip was utterly amazing. The most simple and obvious reason being the fact that Matt and I finally had a chance to get away from everything, and remember what brought us together in the first place. It was so nice to be able to focus on and appreciate each other, and gave me the time to celebrate the fact that I am married to the most amazing man I know. How I ended up with such a selfless, considerate husband is beyond me, but I will never get tired of thanking God for that blessing. ;)  Beyond that, Jamaica itself was just breathtaking. The scenery was awesome, clear blue waters, a beautiful mountain back drop outside of our room, and such vibrant colors in both the wildlife and the agriculture, I could go on for hours. lol. The culture as a whole was inspiring. It's a shame we don't see more of that here in the states. Everybody was in a good mood/happy/helpful! I don't think we dealt with one person that wasn't outgoing and helpful. Granted, most would say this is because they are paid to be that way, but to me it seemed more than that. It seemed as though it was innate. And the food there..don't even get me started on that. I'm pretty sure Matt and I gained 10 lbs while being there. It'll be time for some serious dieting in the Fausset household now. lol. I would say the coolest part of the whole trip was the snorkeling we were able to do a few days. It was so neat! Seeing all of the different creatures in the ocean, and feeling jellyfish and other fish, awesome!  I've often heard that people feel closer to God/God's presence by the water, and it's definitely true for me. I've always been a beach baby at heart, and this trip sent me home feel completely refreshed and renewed.

Please continue to keep us in prayer, and we will continually pray for all of your as I know there are so many of that need it right now.. but also remember that just as important as it is to ask for God's help, it is equally important to praise for the blessings already given to us. I heard something before that has always stuck with me; "What if all you woke up with tomorrow, is what you thanked God for today?". It's a very good point. Each of us have something to be thankful for, whether big or small. Hope you all are doing well and enjoying the crisp fall weather that is upon us now!

2nd one down!!

I was just checking in to see if Meg has had time to keep this blog updated and not surprised to see that the post are few and far between! It is sooo easy now at this point to forget the past year and get distracted from what has happened. And then a little reminder pops it's ugly head up...like her 6 month scans. But once again things have went well and she remains clear. Also good news is that they can now start thinking about that family she has always wanted..no rush though b/c we already have 2 new ones on the way..1 any day now and 1 in September. It has been such a busy summer with so many good things going on that I have to remind myself  to remember that in the middle of the darkest day God was there and remains there even when we are too busy enjoying this life to truly take time and appreciate the way he holds us close. So thank you Lord for this latest blessing!

A year gone by??

Whoa- it has almost been a year already?! It is so baffling to me to think about a year ago I had just found out that I most likely had cancer, my husband was in Afghanistan, I was trying to plan a wedding, and prep for an upcoming surgery....only to hear the other shoe drop, and face 6 months of chemo. The silver lining behind all that is that it simply amazes me to think how much life can change in a year, and what amazing power prayer and faith in God has. There is no doubt in my mind, where I stand today is thanks to all of you and your many many prayers, and good thoughts, and the love of God.

So sorry that it has been so long since I have updated..Matt and I have been so busy lately, but I'll take it! I love the fact that thanks to all of your prayers, I am feeling well enough to BE busy. Let's see where everything is at now.. I had my reversal the first week in March. Just for anyone who stumbles across this blog that is in the same boat I was in and unfortunately needs to go through this operation, the best advice I can give you is what everybody tried to tell me, but I didn't listen- STAY AWAY FROM THE INTERNET!! Leading up to my surgery I read so many horror stories, I was convinced the whole surgery was going to be traumatic, and that recovery was going to be even worse. I was sure that my life was going to be confined to my house, and therefore I didn't make many plans to do anything afterwards. Everyone in my family tried to discourage me away from reading these stories, but I was sure they didn't know what they were talking about since they weren't "in my shoes"... (yep, insert foot into mouth now.) That is not to say that there isn't a lot of great advice out there- just be sure to proceed with caution,  and filter!! Not every scenario will happen to you..everybody is different, every person heals differently, and the power of prayer really does deliver miracles.

Somewhere in all the negative thoughts, my stubborn attitude came through and I made three goals following my surgery. #1. Get back to work, somehow, somewhere. I felt terrible for not contributing to our monthly bills, and also it was just driving me nuts being home all day! #2. Be able to comfortably attend Matt's Army ball..(anybody that knows me knows that I have pretty much been looking forward to this since the day I met Matt.lol) #3. Participate in the Dirty Girl Mud Run 5k.

Well I can tell you I have now completed all three of those goals!! :) Looks like I will have to set some more goals soon. Recovery from surgery was MUCH easier than I anticipated, I was back on my feet and feeling better in no time at all. Actually, I am just about to the point now where I am feeling back to "normal" (or as close to normal as I have ever been.. ha!) and it is SO nice. I made it through my recovery with no complications yet *knock on wood*, had my 3 month scans in May- which were clear, and had my port removed! Such a simple thing, but it was so nice to remove the last physical reminder of this battle, aside from my fantastic scars or "battle wounds" of course.

In the midst of all these other happenings, Matt and I also moved into a new place last weekend. Thank God for Jodie and Tom being so generous and helping us with a place to stay for many months, but like my mom has always said, you don't want to overstay your welcome, and it was time for us to get on our own feet. We found a place much closer to Matt's work (actually he can run to work if he wants...bets are open, who thinks this will happen?!). Although I am not enjoying all the unpacking that comes along with moving, it has been nice for us to get a fresh start- a new place, without cancer. :)

Goal #1- 6 weeks after surgery I started working as a nanny for a 15 month old boy, Grady, and an awesome family! They have been super supportive of everything that may pop up in my life, and it has been a great transition for me back into working.

Goal #2- Matt and I made it to the ball in the Inner Harbor and had a blast! It was just what we both needed. Luckily, we had some good friends to spend the night with as well.

Goal #3- Participated in the Dirty Girl Mud Run 5k with Lacee, Brandy, and Vicki and had a kick ass time!! Not only is this an accomplishment I am proud of due to the fact that it is 4 months out from me finishing chemo, I'm proud of this period because I don't run..unless I'm being chased by T-Rex or something serious like that.

Agh- I have some great pics of ALL of these goals to share with you, but in typical fashion, my computer won't cooperate. BUT I will try again tomorrow so just try to have some patience with me. :)

Matt's brother Brian and his girlfriend Lacee came out to visit us for the week. Such a good time! Always a great time having company, but so quiet after they leave. Hopefully they are back soon!!

More exciting news- we will have another niece, and either a niece or nephew this fall! I can't wait, love spoiling them!

Sorry for rambling, but there's been so much going on. I apologize in advance for not updating much- but that just means life is good. Life is calm again, and I am back out enjoying it, rather than hanging out in hospitals with doctors. I would much rather it that way, what about you?! As I always say, thank you SO much for the continued prayers and love. Although things are good now, I know with something like this I am never completely "out of the woods", and I know now is not the time to stop praying- so please keep them coming if you can! :)

Hope you all are out and about enjoying the start to your summer!

Full circle!!

  I just thought I would be nice and post some on here to be a good supportive mother for Meghan, plus I am really overjoyed at where we are now in our lives! It seems that we have came full circle from where we started this time last year. It was in April that we were planning a wedding without any major concerns about her health. It is because I have just came back from spending  a week with her and it was fantastic! I count my blessings that God has brought us to this point and I have a wonderful husband that will let me run away when I want to. Also on a side note the house doesn't even look too bad for him "baching" it for a week.
  It was such a joy to go to Meghan's and see how happy she was to play "hostess" (we pretended for Jim"s sake that she needed me to stay while Matt was away but she would have been fine without me). Their house is coming along so nicely and looks so cozy! I was so proud of the way she has went from a young girl to being a wife with a home of her own to take care of and enjoy making a home with!
 But it was wonderful and combining that with the fact that we had just had a great time at her benefit along with the knowledge that she has had the support then and though-out this journey of so many wonderful people ..it was just one of those special times in life that remind you of how lucky you are. We did manage to be slightly serious though 1 day and went to Hopkins to get her blood work done for the genetic testing
(once again thank-you to everyone who made this possible! now we can hopefully find out where this monster came from and the risks for the children in the family) But mainly we were just a young wife and 'mom' bonding while being tourist because we didn't have the time/focus or energy when we were together in that area before this.
Before I finish this I would just like to say a few things about her benefit for anyone who might not be on facebook much and is still keeping up with her blog. It was wonderful and there are so many who helped to make it a success!! It took a lot of effort from  her brother Jamie and Dad to pull it all together and even though at 1st it seems a bad date because of Easter it actually worked out well and provided a reason for so many of the family to be here for both events. She is lucky to have them both in her corner. I don't know what would have happened if her Uncle Greg and Jim along with help from Sibonne Voss weren't there to man the entrance tables with the tickets for different things. ( I know that I have spelled her name wrong but this "lady" was a god send and I wanted to acknowledge that I really appreciated her help! So sorry about the spelling. Also it is important to mention that I was no help at all!! Not really sure why but I was pretty much worthless even though I tried ..I just couldn't get it together to actually be much help. So for that I apologize. There are so many others though that did help ..the Summit Staff and Tracie that helped set up & tear down along with donating their time..the family, friends and local businesses that donated food for the event..the donations for the Chinese auction and silent auctions..Everyone who took time from spending it with their family on a holiday to show their support..those that bought tickets or even just made a monetary donation..and they are still coming in!! (how lucky she is and I can attest to how appreciative she is each time she gets even just a card from someone.) The gentleman that won the 50/50 and then donated it back and the list goes on and on....
And this is why I don't often post on here Meggie..I just don't seem to know when to quit typing. But thank-you, thank-you for supporting her and LIFE IS GOOD!

Survived Surgery!! :)

Sorry for being so late in this update..I really hoped someone else would have felt ambitious enough to put an update in the past two weeks for you guys, in hopes that it would be something a bit more interesting than my usual blog posts for y'all! haha Anyway, as you can tell, I survived surgery #2 just fine. After LOTS of anticipation, it went much better than I, and I think the rest of my family as well, expected. Surgery took place as planned on March 7th, for once I didn't decide to take longer in the OR than anticipated, and I made it out on time! I was fortunate enough to have Matt, my mom, Jim, my dad, and Mike and Brian that all made the trip to be there for support. Thank you all! I love you guys. :) Thanks to the advice I had received from some friends that had gone through this surgery, I was up out of the bed and walking LOTS of laps as soon as the nurses would let me.. I wasn't quite as stubborn this time around and nobody had to force me..lol.. the walking seemed to help tremendously.Luckily I only had to stay in the hospital for 3 days and was discharged on Sunday- I'm pretty sure Matt and my mom would have killed me if either had to sleep in the hospital another night. lol. I also had lots of visitors to keep me company/distract me again while I was in the hospital this time around, thank-you!! In addition to all the visitors, I also had pretty much the same team of nurses I had last time.. they are awesome! If you ever have to be in the hospital, the people in 6 South at Passavant have to be some of the most caring, warm hearted people. We even managed to get our Team Meghan T-shirts signed by just about everyone, and snapped a picture on the day of my discharge.

After being discharged Sunday, we made the trip to Waynesburg to attend my grandfather's viewing. He had passed while I was in the hospital..it is such an unfortunate event and a huge loss to all of us, but I was glad to be able to make it and see him one last time, and also see some family members I haven't seen in way too long- although it would be much nicer to see them all under better circumstances next time! Tom Dulaney, you were such a fighter, and will be missed and carried in our hearts forever.

Since then I have been home, between Brockport and Ridgway, recovering. I am so happy to say that this recovery has NOTHING on the last one! Thanks to all of your prayers I am sure, this recovery has been pretty uneventful for the most part. The pain has been manageable, I have mainly been doing a whole lot of sleeping to catch up, and my appetite is even starting to come back..which for anybody that knows me, knows that surely this is no concern, everyone has no doubt the fat kid in me will be back in no time. lol I love food way too much to expect anything besides that. This time around we have had no issues with dehydration, no admissions to the hospital, and even the ugly incision they left me after the surgery is starting to heal up! *I will do you all a favor and NOT post a picture of that..lol* Mom and I made the trip to Dr. Medich's office yesterday for my follow up appointment and so far they are pleased and everything looks great! So that means Friday I will be heading back to MD.. I am very excited to see my wonderful husband again finally, not so excited about returning to those wifely duties. haha..

Even better news about this smooth recovery? I will be seeing you all at the Team Meghan Benefit coming up in a few weeks! I am really looking forward to seeing you all, and being able to thank you all in person for your love, support, and prayers! :) You have been absolutely amazing. Keep them coming--This is no doubt another step in the right direction on the road to recovery, but I know well enough we still have quite a long road ahead. Thank you! Hope you all are staying warm- I know if nothing else, I will be glad to be back in MD for the weather..lol The first day of Spring, and up here in PA it just seems that we keep getting more and MORE snow!